Your own personal Darwin moment?

[Undertaker #59]

We've all read the Darwin awards - people that do extraordinarily dumb things and lose their lives. What have you done that comes the closest?

I have two I guess both having to do with mountains...

1) Climbing Mt Monadnock in the winter. Granted, Monadnock is not much of a mountain, but when you are a teenager and your gear is a denim jacket and work boots, a snow covered Mt Monadnock peak is pretty dangerous. I ended up sliding down some pretty sheer snow covered rock, and just barely saved myself by my fingertips.

2) Thinking that because I was a good water-skiier, that snow skiing would not be too difficult. Went to the top of the slopes without any lessons and tried to go right down. Found out that I couldn't turn very well. Hit a bump the wrong way, did a split, tumbled head over heels a bunch of times, and ended up only tearing ligaments in my knee and being on crutches for six weeks.


How about you?

[JD10367]

We've all read the Darwin awards - people that do extraordinarily dumb things and lose their lives. What have you done that comes the closest?

1.) Deciding a nice Sunday morning during a winter storm would be a good time to walk a mile for breakfast.

2.) Taking a g/f who was an Oilers fan to Foxboro to see the Pats play Houston. The Oilers won. She kept cheering and screaming every time they scored, and the entire stadium would turn to look at us with murder in their eye...

3.) Any of the stupid driving episodes I related on the main board.

[Mikiemo83]

everyday I woke up during my late teens to late twenties

I fell off a flatbed trailer and had one fork lift blade go into my ribcage the other almost cut my throat when I spun off the first- luckily it was winter and it tore through multiple layers of clothing and cracked a rib or two

Was welding and forgot to read the tag on the new shirt I got that day - flammable - I was on fire, didn't know it and luckily I put my hair up into my hat - My brother walked in and tore the shirt off my back throwing me into a pile of steel cutting edges for front end loaders. - my ribs had not healed from the first accident so I was a little sore

Cut myself with a chain saw once - supposed to get over 40 stitches but I refused for some reason

many more I am embarrassed to post

[JD10367]

everyday I woke up during my late teens to late twenties

I fell off a flatbed trailer and had one fork lift blade go into my ribcage the other almost cut my throat when I spun off the first- luckily it was winter and it tore through multiple layers of clothing and cracked a rib or two

Was welding and forgot to read the tag on the new shirt I got that day - flammable - I was on fire, didn't know it and luckily I put my hair up into my hat - My brother walked in and tore the shirt off my back throwing me into a pile of steel cutting edges for front end loaders. - my ribs had not healed from the first accident so I was a little sore

Cut myself with a chain saw once - supposed to get over 40 stitches but I refused for some reason

many more I am embarrassed to post

As opposed to those three, LOL? Jesus, man, you're a walking AFLAC advertisement...

[Mikiemo83]

As opposed to those three, LOL? Jesus, man, you're a walking AFLAC advertisement...thanks for the kind words :)
I lived, played and worked hard but blew my back out on friday the 13th 1990 and got back into land surveying in my mid twenties and have been sitting on my arse ever since

but yeah I was willing to try anything once - twice if I liked it and I usually did
- thats why I never experimented with drugs - I knew I would like them too much if I did

[bideau]

I once told my wife that she was wrong :icon_axe:

Sorry, I got nothin' else

[MANNING < KENJr30]

1) deciding this morning on finding the main PatriotsPlanet board down to do something that's been on my mind for some time now.

I have joined TeenChatSpot where I hope to meet and mentor youngsters that may be having difficulties as they emerge from pre-pubescence.

I have already had contact with "Nevaeh from Newton" who claims she is 16 but already admits not being able to see Pirates of The Caribbean without her mom. Kids. What are you gonna do?

[Hawg73]

Mine won't compare to BlueBallz, but was pretty stupid.

One fine day while stoned, my friends launched an idea to climb Mt. Osceola in NH and camp out on the summit and get more stoned. The following day we drove north and started up the mountain at about 3PM.

Since it was October, the sun began setting as we were arriving at the summit and it's dying rays revealed that the entire summit area was covered with a foot of icy snow. To our complete surprise.

Since none of us thought to bring flashlights, I ran around like a maniac gathering ice-covered wood for a fire and yelled at everyone to get the tents up. It was around 30 degrees up there and the temps were dropping fast and the wind was starting to howl.

Now it was completely dark and morale was low, but I used all of my Boy Scout experience and managed to get a fire started in total darkness. Soon the blaze grew larger as our spirits improved and alcohol and weed started making the rounds.

I had achieved a fine buzz and then suddenly hallucinated that it was raining. Then, the fire started to hiss and soon was extinguished.

I had built the fire under a snow-covered and unseen limb of a pine tree. The fire melted the snow and the rest was history. The kicker is, I was well-familiar with the Jack London story "To Build a Fire" in which the protagonist does the same thing, only dies as a result. At least that's how I remember it, but I used to smoke pot, so.....in any case, the fire was a disaster.

The end of the story is everyone crawled back to their tents and lay awake in their sleeping bags all night long as the cold seeped upwards and the wind howled like a banshee.

I was stupider then. I hope.

[Undertaker #59]

Hey hey, the gang's all here. Welcome Hawg. I gave you some buttons to push.

[Hawg73]

1) Kids. What are you gonna do?

That's exactly what your post has me worried about.

So, how exactly does one become qualified to mentor youngsters as they emerge from the throes of pre-pubescence and enter actual pubescence?

And why did it lead you here?

[MANNING < KENJr30]

That's exactly what your post has me worried about.

So, how exactly does one become qualified to mentor youngsters as they emerge from the throes of pre-pubescence and enter actual pubescence?

And why did it lead you here?I find as I have gotten older being "qualified" to do anything is over-rated.

Having "a hunger" is all one needs.

How I was led to come here has everything to do with "Nevaeh from Newton" writing to me during our Chat if I could "ascertain what she was wearing at the time"

So it seems to me this is as good a spot as any to hide-out for a while

[Mikiemo83]

Hunger Lyrics



Holy eyes, I never knew I'd beg down at your feet
Hold on tight, I never knew I'd know much more than this
Open sky, the wave of pain, the scent of you is bliss
Hungry eyes, they stare at me...
I know, I know...
Don't go...

Summertime, the taste of saint secretes and perfume mist
Console the mind, I take it in with lips of pink I kiss
Lonely sky, the more you take the more that I give in
Holy eyes, I never knew, I know, I know...
Don't go...

[MANNING < KENJr30]

http://www.local6.com/news/9555730/detail.html
Police: Predator Lured Victims Via Vampire Web Site

July 21, 2006

CENTRAL ISLIP, N.Y. -- A man who prosecutors said lured underage girls he met on a vampire-related Internet site to cemeteries for sex pleaded not guilty to rape and sodomy charges.

Eric Fischer, 23, was ordered held on $350,000 bail after entering the plea Thursday on a 25-count indictment that included charges of rape, criminal sexual act and endangering the welfare of a child, according to the Suffolk County district attorney's office.

Prosecutors said he contacted his victims using a Gothic culture Web site and arranged to meet them in cemeteries on Long Island, east of New York City, prosecutors said.

Fischer was first arrested in March and an incident involving a 16-year-old girl he met on the Web site, police said. A month later, he was accused of luring someone he believed was a 13-year-old girl -- but who turned out to be a detective in the Suffolk police computer crimes squad.

Suffolk Assistant District Attorney Julie Walsh said a further investigation uncovered five other potential victims, ranging in age from 14 to 16.

Fischer's attorney, John Ammerman, declined to comment.

see Hawg.......this is what I'm talkin' 'bout

[Mikiemo83]

http://www.local6.com/news/9555730/detail.html


see Hawg.......this is what I'm talkin' 'bout
so you get on line and seek this sights out and teach them how not to be lured into things - correct?

I myself have had to talk to my nephew a few times about where he travels and his screen name - real original initials and d.o.b. - like someone couldn't figure out who you are after learning your town - moron that kid is at times - other times a great kid - like right now he is in mississippi doing some volunteer construction work for the week

[Hawg73]

http://www.local6.com/news/9555730/detail.html


see Hawg.......this is what I'm talkin' 'bout

I see. I myself like to chat with young girls on line just in hopes of meeting a 40-ish female FBI agent with a kinky side when she is off-duty.

Kind of cuts out the middle man, but I hadn't thought of the Goth/vampire angle yet.

Who are you really?

[JD10367]

I myself have had to talk to my nephew a few times about where he travels and his screen name - real original initials and d.o.b. - like someone couldn't figure out who you are after learning your town - moron that kid is at times . . .

:::looking at his own screen name:::

:rolleyes: :icon_hang

[MANNING < KENJr30]

Who are you really?is that a rhetorical question, a casual inquiry or don't you know who I am really?

[Hawg73]

I assure you that I haven't a clue.

You seem like a regular, your style of writing seems familiar, but out of sheer curiosity I would really like to know without resorting to tacky technical methods.

A clue would suffice if you would rather not spill.

[MANNING < KENJr30]

I assure you that I haven't a clue.

You seem like a regular, your style of writing seems familiar, but out of sheer curiosity I would really like to know without resorting to tacky technical methods.

A clue would suffice if you would rather not spill.let's try a clue

I believe that ass-less chaps are underrated

[Mikiemo83]

:::looking at his own screen name:::

:rolleyes: :icon_hang
this is my alter ego the colts follower
in real life I'm a bigger loser

[Hawg73]

Oh, RG -- for crying out loud....I should have known, but the KenJr thing has always thrown me a bit....it's like South Park for me. I know what it is but I think I'm missing something.

The guy gets more attention than a 5 dollar whore on dollar day.

[MANNING < KENJr30]

Oh, RG -- for crying out loud....I should have known, but the KenJr thing has always thrown me a bit....it's like South Park for me. I know what it is but I think I'm missing something.

The guy gets more attention than a 5 dollar whore on dollar day.jeez, I thought you had like lost too many braincells coming off vaca.

I had the following cued up for you as another hint ~



a BaBa Wahwah qwestion: "Iff yu wor a twee, whad kind off twee woud yu bwee"?

Answer: "F*** off Babs, I only get wood thinking about pulling guards (if you catch my meaning)"

[Hawg73]

If I was a twee, I'd be a mighty oak whose roots reach deep into the bowels of the Earth and whose broad leaves would shelter the humans from the heat of the sun and the maddening, incessant snare-drum of the rain if I was in Massachusetts.

Squirrels would gambol in chittering circles around my ample trunk and skinny, space-cadet chicks from Greenpeace would camp out in my highest reaches when the industrialists with chain saws threaten to chop me down to clear space for a Hyundai dealership.

.......what was the question again?

We might be here a while folks, we better get used to it.

[Benign Despot]

The longer we are here the stranger it gets.

Someone should check the ventalation, I thing UT set off a bong in the air duct :icon_weed

[Mikiemo83]

if I were a twee I would be a birch tree

Birches - a poem by Robert Frost




When I see birches bend to left and right
Across the lines of straighter darker trees,
I like to think some boy's been swinging them.
But swinging doesn't bend them down to stay.
Ice-storms do that. Often you must have seen them
Loaded with ice a sunny winter morning
After a rain. They click upon themselves
As the breeze rises, and turn many-coloured
As the stir cracks and crazes their enamel.
Soon the sun's warmth makes them shed crystal shells
Shattering and avalanching on the snow-crust
Such heaps of broken glass to sweep away
You'd think the inner dome of heaven had fallen.
They are dragged to the withered bracken by the load,
And they seem not to break; though once they are bowed
So low for long, they never right themselves:
You may see their trunks arching in the woods
Years afterwards, trailing their leaves on the ground,
Like girls on hands and knees that throw their hair
Before them over their heads to dry in the sun.
But I was going to say when Truth broke in
With all her matter-of-fact about the ice-storm,
I should prefer to have some boy bend them
As he went out and in to fetch the cows--
Some boy too far from town to learn baseball,
Whose only play was what he found himself,
Summer or winter, and could play alone.
One by one he subdued his father's trees
By riding them down over and over again
Until he took the stiffness out of them,
And not one but hung limp, not one was left
For him to conquer. He learned all there was
To learn about not launching out too soon
And so not carrying the tree away
Clear to the ground. He always kept his poise
To the top branches, climbing carefully
With the same pains you use to fill a cup
Up to the brim, and even above the brim.
Then he flung outward, feet first, with a swish,
Kicking his way down through the air to the ground.
So was I once myself a swinger of birches.
And so I dream of going back to be.
It's when I'm weary of considerations,
And life is too much like a pathless wood
Where your face burns and tickles with the cobwebs
Broken across it, and one eye is weeping
>From a twig's having lashed across it open.
I'd like to get away from earth awhile
And then come back to it and begin over.
May no fate willfully misunderstand me
And half grant what I wish and snatch me away
Not to return. Earth's the right place for love:
I don't know where it's likely to go better.
I'd like to go by climbing a birch tree
And climb black branches up a snow-white trunk
Toward heaven, till the tree could bear no more,
But dipped its top and set me down again.
That would be good both going and coming back.
One could do worse than be a swinger of birches.

[Hawg73]

Two servers converged in a yellow web
and sorry I could not visit both and be one surfer,
long I sat, fingers poised and watched as one disappeared
into the blue-smoke shadows of the undergrowth

Then I took the other, which being much the same,
yet less-trodden by electrons left in the wake of those
- whom of it's being could make little sense
Yes, I posted on the forum less visited
and that has made all the difference.

[MANNING < KENJr30]

Two servers walk into a bar and the bartender asks what would they have?

Server 1: "I'll have a shot of Jack and a Bud"

Server 2: "I'll have a Denial-of-Service"

Bartender:"A Denial-of-Service? What's that?"

Server 1: "Don't mind him, he's just thinking of what is waiting for him at home. Give him a beer and a beatin'."